Sometimes in life you don’t give ultimatums but options
It started off with three options:
A. Go to Galley (a high scale restaurant on the beach) for a drink and sunset
B. Go to Steps (a beach with a beautiful sunset) with some snacks that I pick up at Stop & Shop
C. None of the above
This is what moved into being one of the best dinner date I have ever had.
His reply was perfect, “I haven’t been to galley all year. But sunsets are always so good at Steps. Your call though, so if you don’t want to go to the store, Galley works for me.” Not only did I give him options but he gave me the option to choose. I was more than thrilled to decide Galley. As we got there I felt like everything fell into place. We got the front row cabana to the beach and sunset. Not only did we enjoy each others company but the food was exquisite and the wine was divine. It was a night for the record books and it felt like it was not forced to happen but all fell into place.
I have learned when I have high expectations it usually does not work in the way I wanted it to and I am easily let down. When I force something, naturally it becomes inorganic and is not what I expected or wanted to happen. I have over the years learned to have low expectations, and not fixate on specific things happening. When I have that in mind, everything becomes more relaxed and enjoyable.
However, I know myself well enough to know I hold a standard and sometimes when it is not met I can get frustrated. I have to remind myself that everyone is different and communication becomes important. No one can read minds and when you are not being fulfilled it may be hard to face the facts but it may be a change you may need to take whether that is moving forward with or without the other person.
Always have goals and ambitions but allow flexibility. There should be an objective but make it an adventure of getting there. Giving ultimatums gives no out or choice in the situation. It can feel restricting and suffocating for both parties. The best life experiences, such as a splendid date, are when you get whisked away and end up at a destination with the person you care about.
Live Well and Run