Looking at all that I have done and what I wanted to accomplish in my mind are always on two different spectrums. I have done so much this past summer, and even past year. A lot of it was expected for myself and others where a complete surprise. I had goals that I wanted to accomplish yet haven’t reached such as my goal weight and to accomplishing my third marathon (I never got to run because I had to work instead). However, through the short comings, I am climbing in my real estate career and building a life on Nantucket.
I found this summer had been filled with work, work and a little more work. I blinked and all I can remember is being confided in my work place. I had many enjoyable moments however they were out weighed with the times I was called in or the rain that would plague my days off. It was hard to keep myself happy when I spent a lot of it being unhappy. That is when I say I am entirely grateful for the two wonderful people in my life who continuously uplifted me when I was down and loved me when I was grumpy and crying. This summer my boyfriend and twin sister were my rock when the storm was rocking me. I look back and through all the frustration and sadness I didn’t look for myself but turned to them for support.
Now as the time slows down and I am able to breathe. I look back and know all the hard work I put in this past summer brought me to where I am now. I am a real estate agent at William Raveis- Nantucket. My serving career has given me a savings in which I can live on this island comfortably and not struggle through the slow months of winter. I had many moments in which I soaked in the sun, drove onto the beach and spent time with friends on the boat. I have a loving boyfriend and a supportive family. As the season slows I am now gaining back my confidence and most importantly RUNNING again.
When I said earlier I didn’t look for myself, what I really meant was I truly lost sight of myself and doing the things I personally love. I forgot how important selfcare is to the soul. What I had over looked was taking time to do things that would have brought me happiness. The top three: run, read and write in this blog. I strayed so far from myself that I was looking everywhere else and for others to bring me the happiness I was lacking. I missed the point, no one can bring me happiness if I cant bring the essential enjoy to myself. I am in control of my emotions and if I can not identify what is making me miserable then no one else can change my behavior and mood. It was a long summer and without taking the time to reflect I was blaming everything such as my work, weight, money, and lack of time on everything and anyone else but myself. I pushed away the responsibility of realizing that I am the root issue and the way to fix the issue is to be selfish and take the time to do the things that I needed to do all summer.
It is a beautiful thing to be able to draw back, reflect and ground yourself. This summer I had many goals in which some happened and others didn’t. Who is to say that they wont happen on a later date. It is time to get back onto a schedule in which doesn’t control me but I am in control of. I am in control of my life and what I want to do with it, the only way you know if you’ve lost control is when your happiness has been succumbed my grief and feeling uncomplacent. What I came across yesterday and what evoked me to start today was a simple meme. “You are responsible for your happiness. In fact, you create it. You attract it. You manifest it. You are the architect of your reality. You choose your thoughts, your perceptions, and your reaction to external forces. You possess of the tools need to expand your awareness, to orchestrate the evolution of your consciousness, to choose happiness, to choose love. You are that powerful. Create the life you deserve. Vibrate love.”
Start actively doing what brings you joy and in return you will find your happiness.
Live Well and Run xox